FAQ
Below are the most Foolishly Anxious Qualms that inexperienced filmmakers have
about leaving the 100-year-old Hollywood model of filmmaking in favor of the more intuitive
and possibly more lucrative Film Sleepy method.
Q: How much money will I make if I switch to Film Sleepy?
A: This is the first question all filmmakers ask about converting to the Film Sleepy model, due to the erroneous notion that they will earn millions of dollars each year
if they turn out Hollywood style films. Earning $35 per year for a Film Sleepy movie
sounds really bad next to imagined millions. Thirty-five dollars per year, however,
sounds a lot better when filmmakers realize that their first Hollywood film,
made without the backing of a Hollywood studio, will cost $2,000,000 or more,
of which they will lose at least $1,500,000–whereas a Film Sleepy feature can be made
for $500-$5000 and the filmmakers will come out $35 ahead of where they started.
Q: How much would I make if I stayed with the 100-year-old method?
A: This question was answered briefly in FAQ #1 but merits a more detailed reply. Under the Hollywood method, you will lose a) your money, b) your credit, c) your house
(and all other future housing, including rented apartments), d) your friends, family
and other investors you scammed to put together the deal and e) your chances
to ever make another movie. Thirty-five dollars in income is preferable over the long haul.
Q: If I can't follow the rules of the 100-year-old method well enough to make money, how do I know I can succeed with Film Sleepy?
A: Ah, that is the magic of Film Sleepy. Most filmmakers and even would-be filmmakers
are naturally gifted at putting people to sleep. The purpose of film schools,
as with any other business, is to make money. And it doesn’t pay very well to teach someone
something they already know. That’s why they teach an outdated, unworkable method
that requires students to come back semester after costly semester to unlearn
the natural way to make movies.
Q: What is the shooting ratio in Film Sleepy?
A: This question requires a thorough understanding of the end purpose of the film.
A fully realized Film Sleepy director can shoot a single take for every shot–and a master
can do better than that! Long sequences of people just looking at each other involve
so little movement that these shots can be lengthened by duplicating the clip and setting it
next to the original on your editing program’s timeline–backward. That your characters
are moving backward will never be noticed by your audience, even when they are awake.
This method of drawing out a movie was perfected in the first Film Sleepy feature,
WebcamMurder.com.
Q: What will my budget be?
A: As mentioned in the answer to FAQ #1, a very soporific feature length movie can be made
for as little as $500--less if you shoot a short and play the same shots over and over.
[See the previous answer for directions.]
Q: How long should I stick with Film Sleepy if I don't succeed right away?
A: Once your Film Sleepy is completed, you should experience some level of success within days.
Do not be discouraged if you do not see the whole $35 for several months. Even while waiting
for the financial payoff, you will be pleasantly surprised at how few of your viewers
stay awake till the end.
Q: Unfortunately, I have taken classes and read books in the 100-year-old method.
How can I be sure my movie will end up in the Film Sleepy genre?
A: Only Film Sleepy Inc, as the controlling firm of the Soporifically Oriented Filmmakers Association
(SOFA), can decide whether a film makes the cut as an official Film Sleepy movie,
and their decision is final. There is a charge of $25 per hour or fraction thereof for a Film Sleepy Inc representative to watch and grade a film. The charge is based on the length of the film,
NOT on how long it takes the representative to fall asleep. However, anyone can make a movie
that puts the audience to sleep and say it is film sleepyish as a point of referernce.
Q: Do you teach Film Sleepy classes?
A: In a perfect world such classes would not have to be taught. So many of today’s filmmakers
have had high-priced "training," stripping them of their natural abilities, that unfortunately
we do offer deprogramming. A free teleseminar to acquaint filmmakers with our methods
will be announced in the near future.